


Grandma Dr. Phil (Morgan) Freeman

by Eli0t



Series: Unofficial AO3 Circle Stories [4]
Category: Archive of Our Own, Original Work
Genre: Gen, Lots of it, Minor Character Death, minor bestiality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:34:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22989439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eli0t/pseuds/Eli0t
Summary: Prompt: When I flipped on the radio that night, I couldn’t believe the voice I heard coming through the speakers.
Series: Unofficial AO3 Circle Stories [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1650388
Collections: Unofficial AO3 Circle Stories





	Grandma Dr. Phil (Morgan) Freeman

When I flipped on the radio that night, I couldn’t believe the voice I heard coming through the speakers. It was my grandma's voice, broken up like glass shards. It was Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman somehow went by the name Phil. he was also my grandma, Grandma Phil freeman, Morgan Freeman was actually just a stage name my grandmother, Phil used. Grandma Phil Freeman, of course, was also a Dr. An orthodontist feared by all. It was complicated but basically my dad 'knew a guy' and found out my ancestry report

"You will die at the hand of a goose," it said. When I first heard the news, I wondered if this meant Morgan Freeman would be coming to Thanksgiving dinner, as Phil, of course.

"with 15 minutes you can save 15% or more on car insurance" I realized this was Phil's commericial for her sketchy orthadontist office. like a good neighbor, state farm is here  
So I went to kill her because I hated orthodontists.

Anyways, that goose death sounded pretty scary even if it was my grandma Dr. Phil telling me about it

"This neighborhood really is going downhill!" "Memaw, that's racist."  
Farmers. We know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two.  
I turned off the radio and hid under my bed.  
ba da da ba ba im lovin it  
I killed my grandma  
Little did I know I had been keeping a rogue goose under my bed  
And the goose ripped into me and I screamed  
He was the one that had been farting all this time!  
bahaha this is fantastic  
So I killed the goose and it exploded into glitter  
"hon hon baguette." there was a loud honk.  
HÖNK HÖNK  
I licked up all the glitter with my serpent tongue.  
a real glitter bomb if i had ever seen one  
But the glitter mixed with the dust bunnies and the goose respawned  
I am allergic to glitter. If I don’t see Phil now, I may die.  
So I vacuumed under my bed  
It was then I realized... this goose was immortal and he had Dr. Phil on speeddial  
I screamed again and stabbed it  
an apparition of dr. phil suddenly appeared  
So I quickly dialed my granmas orthodonist off8ice usikng the speedial on the goose's phone.  
“My son, you’re dying.”  
No duh  
But I miss dialed and called my S/O instead  
Hey  
They broke up with me  
And found out my S/O had been sleeping w the goose  
And i broke up with them  
I panicked and choked and puked out glitter  
I sorely needed a session w Dr. Phil to sort my trauma  
So I called the police to report beastiality.  
the police arrived with a goose  
The police were being bribed by the geese.  
The police, who are notoriously corrupt, told me that they did not care for my plight.  
So I killed them too  
After all the police chief was a goose  
And he would make a nice dinner  
I decided right now that I am goosephobic.  
And I ate roast goose that night  
Grandma phil came over to comfort me and look at my teeth  
But I killed her because I hated her


End file.
